If you know me well enough, you know that I am in perpetual emotional struggle. Sometimes it is only one thing, sometimes there are many at once. I currently have several things with which I am dealing. One of which is the fact that I am pushed aside, disregarded. No one thinks I will ever amount to anything. But what if I do? What if one day I succeed at…something? What will people think then? How will they treat the same Lauren differently? I ask myself these questions frequently. Because, let's say one day I do find the success I am looking for, I am not going to change. I am still going to be the goofy and melancholy Lauren that I have always been.
Today, as if it were a sign from God, I found something. Shannon and I took a minute to stop by Maury Regional to visit friends of ours who had just had a baby girl. We stopped by the gift shop to get them a little gift. This emotional issue of mine was heavy on my heart at the time and I was fighting back tears. Then I found a display of 40% off bookmarks. I love bookmarks, especially when they have a profound statement or quote that really speaks to me printed on it. On said display, there was only one bookmark left dangling there on the end of its hook practically calling out my name. I read the short poem on the front and it is as if that little bookmark knew I was coming and knew I needed to read what it said. I bought it, of course. Today, I have been given hope just when I needed it. Sometimes little things can be quite big; quiet things can be very loud; and things that cannot talk can sometimes speak volumes. The bookmark:
I Will Grow
I will become something
new and grand,
but no grander
than I now am.
Just as the sky
will be different
in a few hours,
its present perfection
and completeness
is not deficient.
So am I presently perfect
and not deficient
simply because I will be
different tomorrow.
I will grow
and I am not deficient.
-- by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
JLB
