A Big Headache

Labor Day weekend was relaxing. After we ate supper at Nanny's we headed home to prepare for the four-day work week ahead. My head started hurting. I took some Tylenol and later went to bed.

I noticed that throughout the night I would wake up with my head pounding. The next morning I woke up with my head pounding intensely. I felt a little sick and I thought 'Great, a migraine.' I stayed home from work and had my mother bring me some of her migraine medicine. I don't keep any because migraines are rare for me. Usually this cures it.

But not that day. I laid in bed all day. Mom got Asia from school and brought her home to me. When Shannon got home from work my head was no better despite the prescription narcotics running through my veins. So, I told him to take me to Rapid Care. I thought they might be able to give me a shot and nip the headache in the bud.

It was very crowded there so I told Shannon to stay in the car with Asia since there was nowhere else to sit. Then I told him it would be a while so he could go somewhere if he wanted and I would text him when I went back. Only a few minutes later I started sweating and got lightheaded. I looked at the woman seated next to me and whispered, "I'm passing out."
And then I slid right out of my chair. They put me on a bed and took me back. (Lesson: If it's going to be a while and you're getting impatient then hit the floor.) They called an ambulance. I was taken to the ER where I remained for the next eight hours.

They did some blood work, an EKG, and a CT scan. THEN, the finally administered some drugs. I hate taking medicine, but by now they could have shot me with a whale-sized tranquilizer and I wouldn't have cared.

A while later, I don't even know how long, my head was still hurting. The doc decided that it very well could be meningitis and decided to do a spinal tap. EEEK!

A spinal tap, is a very... unique... feeling. My fluid was slow coming out. So for one hour I had a four-inch needle in my spine while I lay helpless and alone in the fetal position with an anaesthesiologist who wasn't much for conversation.

They told me to be sure to lie flat on my back for eight hours, eat before I went to bed, and to see my PCP for a follow-up the next day. Since it was 2:00 a.m., and I was told to eat, and I sure the heck wasn't going to cook, we found an open drive-thru. Then I went home, certain that I would wake up better in the morning.

Unfortunately, I didn't. My back hurt no matter what position I tried. My head was slightly better. The doctor gave me some Treximet. It didn't work, and I took it all. But surely my head would me better the next morning.

Unfortunately, it wasn't. In fact, it was worse. So I sat in the recliner, where I had found the most comfortable position. So, that is where I sat all the live-long day. Nanny told me that she was going to take me back to the doctor the next day if it wasn't any better by then. But, surely, it would be. I mean, COME ON!!

Unfortunately, it wasn't. In fact, it was worse yet. So Nanny took me to the doctor where he hooked me up with prescriptions of Demerol and Phenergan. Then he gave me two shots. About an hour after the shots, the agonizing pain began to subside. But I still took it easy.

Saturday and Sunday, fared about the same: a little better than Friday evening. Monday, was even better. And Tuesday, better still. By Wednesday, over a week after the headache began, I was better. Finally.

Then, the bills start rolling in. I don't have insurance! I had to call all these places and let them know that I am not rich and they will not be receiving their payment in one lump some, but rather in monthly increments.

Who would've thought that one headache --though it was the most excruciating ever-- would be such a, well, headache.

Another Day, Another Debacle

    The day before Yesterday, Shannon and I were running a little ahead on our schedule. It was raining so we couldn't do two of our jobs. We drove to Columbia, where we had a few jobs, and decided to do lunch at O'Charley's. I paid with my debit card… and left it there. I am terribly forgetful, but never have forgotten my debit card. I have had my wallet stolen and an ATM suck my card back in and not give it back, but never just forgot it! It is my lifeline as much as my cell phone is, especially since I never carry cash. However, I did not discover that it was missing until later that evening. I was at Krystal and placed my order: just a couple cheese Krystals, no drink, no fries. I get to the window and opened my wallet to hand the girl my card, and to my shock, it was gone. Immediately, I remembered that I forgot to get my debit card out of the receipt book at lunch after I signed the receipt. I told the girl at the window to cancel my order, that I couldn't find my debit card and was about to drive off, when she told me that she would just give it to me. SWEET! Free Krystals. I texted Google and got the number for O'Charley's. A girl answered the phone and I explained my debacle. She told me that there was a box in the office the manager kept for things of that nature that were left behind. She transferred me to the manager. No debit card with my name on it had been turned in. RED FLAG!!! I called the bank and had them cancel the card. Now I have to wait on them to send me a new one. I checked my transactions for my bank account online and no unauthorized transactions have shown up. YAY! I hope it stays that way!

    Yesterday, we had to go to a job in the middle of nowhere in Perry County that we didn't get to do the day before due to the rain. It was an absolutely stunning location. The log house sat on a hill in the woods; two streams ran in little waterfalls down the hill, went through the different sections of the house, and connected to make a bigger stream in front of the house. There was no one home, we were supposed to do a termite renewal and leave the bill on the door. Between the tea I drank before we headed that way and the long drive, by the time we got there I had to pee pretty badly. There was not a store for about twenty miles. I tried to hold it, I really did. But the urge got so bad that I was doing the pee dance and had to act fast. But where to GO? It was going to have to be outside and due to all the exposed moist rock, it was a very slick climb almost everywhere, except under the house where they had poured a slab of concrete next to where the stream was. I know it is awful, but I had to go. I figured it would be ok if I "went" in the stream so it would just wash away. Shannon had to go really bad too. Of course, it is easier for him to do things like that, but he went in the stream too. After we had our mind off "going" we were able to continue the job. Except, when we were almost finished we opened a door to spray on the inside of the storage area that had a dirt floor, we set off an alarm. Is it just a noise-maker alarm? Is it an alarm that summons the police? We hadn't a clue and got absolutely NO cell phone service, so we couldn't call to find out. So we just did what we could: finish the job. About the time we were finishing the alarm stops. We figured that it was a simple noise-maker alarm. I mean, if law enforcement was coming SURELY they would have been there by then. Right? Anyway, so we finish and roll up the hose and are getting ready to go when I see the security camera. It was not aimed toward where we peed, but who knows if there was one somewhere we couldn't see. I was relieved to get out of there. For all I know they could have my big white rump on camera peeing, or worse, police officers may have came and finger printed the place after we left. And there it'll be, my big, proud thumb print on the screen door handle from where I slid in the bill.

Orange is Ugly, Unless It's the Sunset

The inevitability of change is the only thing that does not change. You can cause change to happen, but you can't keep it from happening. If you know me well then you know that I am a sentimental, reminiscent, nostalgic person to the point that it is kind of ridiculous. I can't help it though. It's not like I one day decided to be like that; it just happened that way. I think it helps me get through life sometimes, to be retrospective and see all the lessons learned from mistakes. Some days, it causes me anxiety and depression. The 'what-ifs' tattooed themselves to my brain. I can sit and contemplate how much change has taken place around and within myself for hours.

People tell me to forget about the past, that it doesn't define me. I have to disagree. The things that you have done or that have been done to you made you into who you are today. If you forget your past, then you forget the lessons from the mistakes you made. Lord knows I've made plenty of those in my lifetime. Now, you should not dwell on your past; there is nothing you can do to change what has been done. Just find the things you want to be different in your life in the future and start implementing those changes now. It is easier said than done, I know. But you have to start somewhere if you are ever going to get anywhere. (I start somewhere everyday, even if I only start over...again)

I look at pictures and think, "if I only knew then what I know now." I see the friends and family that taught me so many of these lessons. Even the people, especially the people who have done me wrong. I want to thank all the people who taught me that good friends are there for you at your lowest, the people who taught me that it is okay to be goofy, the ones who taught me that it's okay to cry, the people that made me believe in so many good things, those of you who just let me be me. And to those of you who kicked me when I was down, who broke my heart in some way, who made me feel worthless and unworthy; and those who, when my chips were down, took the rest; I want to thank you too. I would like to give a special thanks to all of you who taught me that money doesn't by class, it buys status. You all, and you know who you are, are pieces in my life puzzle. I still don't have them all put together yet; heck, I don't even have them all. Some pieces are magnificent and others quite hideous. Though, I hope one day after my puzzle is finished you can see the beauty in the entire picture. And I hope you will be proud to be part of it.

Remember: Yesterdays make your Todays, but Todays make your Tomorrows!

Whirlwind

Life flies by at the speed of light. I try with futility to grasp onto something, anything, but it passes like a ghost right through my fingers. I see the blur of colors, people shooting forward; I feel the whir of things that pass, pulling me with their wake in every direction. I get nowhere. I get tired. After all the hope I once held, the dreams I once believed in, I am left in the whirling dust and passing shadows of life; and all I know to do is cry.

Lessons

Asia puts a DVD in when she goes to bed every night. The other night after I thought she was settled she starts yelling to me for help. So I go in her room and she is messing with the VCR. She has put a DVD in the VCR and can't get it out. It is wedged in there pretty good. I told her I need to go get something to pry it out. She holds up her index finger and says, "Hold on a minute Mama!" She gets her flashlight and starts digging around under her bed. She pulls out a fork. Not a plastic toy fork, but one of my good pieces of flatware. "I bet this'll work," she said. So I took the fork and loosened up the DVD and it fell right out to which Asia replied, "See Toldja."

I believe that the LB in Lane Bryant REALLY stands for "Large Bodies."

One night I was cooking supper, a quick, easy supper. My culinary skills are limited to dinners that say "Just Add Water" on the box. Therefore you would think that I would at LEAST have no trouble with a packet of Uncle Ben's 90 second rice. I mean, how difficult can it be to put it in the microwave and take it back out when it's done? But if there is a way to mess something up I will be the one to find it. After being in the microwave for a few 10s of seconds I hear a loud POP. There is rice all over the microwave. Next time I will listen to Uncle Ben when he tells me to VENT the packet first.

After getting groceries one evening at Wal-Mart and loaded them into the trunk I was feeling too lazy to put the buggy in the designated return area. There was one of those one-sided ones right in front of the car. I thought to myself, "It would be sooo much easier to pick the cart up and sit it over in there than it would be to push it all the way around." So, I pick up the cart, which was heavier than I expected and proceed to heave it over into the thing. It didn't land on its feet like it was supposed to. I tried to straighten it up but it was about to pull me over in with it so I just left it standing on its nose. So If you witnessed this recently at Walmart, YES, I was that idiot.

Good Day!

It's My Birthday, I'll Cry if I Want To

I am often served, on someone else’s silver platter mind you, a grim and painful reminder of where I stand at this point in my life. I constantly think about what things I could’ve done differently to make my life better; it’s not quite the obvious things either. It’s the minute, subtle details that would make all the difference. Sometimes I wonder if my destiny is failure, so I can write a story about it and people can read it and not feel so bad about their own lives. Most of the time these failures are personal and unbeknownst to anyone else, for reasons you could assume. I can say that while I do tend to procrastinate, or even take a hiatus, that I never give up. EVER. I feel like I have that old Chumbawamba song on repeat in my head: “I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re never gonna keep me down. I get knocked down, but I get up again….”

I realize that I have wasted so many years. I certainly figured I would be finished with school by now. But despite how many books I have read on the relativity of mass and energy, I cannot time travel. I am interested in so many things, yet I am good at nothing. Therefore I have to do what I can while I can. It is a bitter reality to face. I keep thinking. ‘I’m still young, I have time to get things in order.” And then I turned 25 today……

1-19-09

Fire in the Sky

The sky has been doused and fizzled-out for a while, so it was quite refreshing this morning to wake up and have it reignited and ablaze so brilliantly. I had to take a moment to soak it in. I stood in my pajamas looking out of the open kitchen door. Outdoors it was frigid, the trees were bare, and the ground was saturated and soggy. But the sun nor the sky was aware of this. The sun, shining like a well polished fire opal alongside the sparkling aquamarine sky, was telling me it was a beautiful morning no matter how hard the marshy land below my feet was trying to tell me otherwise. Tree tops were glad to tickle the sky once again and the birds were singing songs about this lovely day. I bet they won’t look down once except perhaps to perch on the thawing finger tip of a redwood tree. It is going to be a great day.



1-7-09

The Ghost of Christmas Past

I cannot say that this is my first blog because I have posted countless blogs on MySpace. However, this is my first blog on this site that I will share with everyone not just my friends on MySpace. I figured for my 'first' blog I would share Christmas with you.

It has been an eventful Christmas week to say the least. Christmas flew by in a whirlwind of glitter and wrapping paper and pumpkin pie, and left a trail of debris throughout the house. Cleaning up the mess will take at least a week because I plan on tossing out some stuff I have been pack–ratting away and believe me, I have loads of stuff!!!!!! I’ll spare some of the details, but Christmas week went something like this:

Saturday the 20th we had Christmas at Shannon’s Dad’s house in Alabama. We have been meeting at Ryan’s for about the past 3 years, because there is something to satisfy every appetite on the smorgasbord. Then we headed to his Dad’s house for the kids to open gifts. Asia finally got some Barbie clothes. She needed them because almost all of her Barbies were completely naked. We stayed a while. It was dark when we left but the neighbor had something for Asia so she went over there to get it. On the way back her little skirt falls down around her ankles. Her hands are full and she doesn’t know what to do but stand there until I can get there to help her. Our plan was to look at lights on the way back but Asia was snoozing in the car before we made it a couple of miles down the road. It was pouring rain too.

The next day we went to my mom’s house. We drew names for that one. I drew my stepbrother Jason’s girlfriend’s name. She wanted underwear. I’m thinking, I am not about to buy somebody underwear whom I’ve never even seen before. If I buy them too big she’ll think I’m calling her fat. If I buy them too small she’ll think she IS fat because she can’t wear them. So I ordered her a Victoria’s Secret gift card so she could buy herself some pretty panties. Russ drew my name he got me some smelly-goods from Victoria’s Secret (that’s all I can wear from there) ;) and Britney Spears Greatest Hits CD. I had sorta confessed what a big closet (no longer) Britney fan I was when we went to Nashville the week before. I totally love that CD too. I have been rockin’ it almost every day! We turned that CD on and Asia danced to it in her Hannah Montana costume and boots. I just danced to it in my fat suit that I put on one day and now can't get off. =D.

Monday Shannon had to work a few hours. Tuesday he ended up getting the day off. He tried to go hang out with some of his buddies that evening, but that ended up not working out. I was mixing up some cookies to cook in the morning to take to his mom’s because they have to ‘fridge’ overnight. He brought us home some pizza, then we went to bed.

Wednesday, Christmas Eve morning, I woke up at 5 a.m. sick as a dog. It was awful. Shannon woke up later than I did, but he was sick as a dog as well. We were supposed to be at his mom’s at 4. They had deep fried a turkey and had a whole big spread of delicious home cooked food and neither of us felt like eating anything. So we went over there and I sat in the recliner and Shannon laid on his mom’s bed while they ate. I hope all that food wasn’t wasted maybe someone come over and ate it. Then we opened gifts. I wanted to take pics of Asia there too, but I left my card in my computer and couldn’t get my internal memory to erase. We finally made it home. Our house was a mess already. There will be no time on Christmas to clean it up. But we were hoping to be better in the morning for Asia to open her Santa gifts.


I was tired and a little weak Christmas morning and Shannon’s back was hurting, but we both felt good enough to enjoy Asia opening her Santa presents. Shannon didn’t feel like going to Travis’ so Asia and I went while he stayed home and took a shower and a nap. When I got back home and walked in the door I noticed our house smelled awful. Ugh! I didn’t know if it was the garbage that we didn’t get to take off the day before since we were sick or just simply the fact that we had been sick. Shannon was feeling much better, so I sprayed some air freshener and we were off to my uncle Keith’s house.

There were sooooooooooo many people there. I forgot I was related to some of them. Asia was running up and down the stairs with the other little girls. I still didn’t really feel like eating, but I did manage to down a roll and some tea. Then I was ready to leave because we had to go home to get our gifts to take out to grandma’s house which is where we were headed next. BUT there were too many cars in the way. There were too many people there to worry about finding out whose cars were in the way so we just stayed another hour or so and did a little karaoke. It was so LOUD upstairs between the kids, the karaoke, and the Guitar Hero showdown that I didn’t feel so bad about busting out a tune once or twice with my screechy singing voice. No one down stairs could hear it because it was loud down there also. FINALLY people started clearing out and we got to leave.

Asia rode with my mom out to my grandma’s and Shannon and I went to Walgreen’s for batteries, Lysol spray, and Clorox. We went home and our house was still stinky so I sprayed some Lysol around and cleaned up the bathroom with the Clorox hoping to eliminate the odor. We got the gifts we were taking out to grandma’s and headed out there. We were out there for about 3 hours. Asia was so tired she was crying and we were pretty pooped too so we skipped going to Sybil’s… and I really wanted to go. Asia wanted to spend the night with my mom, which I was okay with since I needed to do some serious cleaning. So Asia went with mom and Shannon and I went home to our still smelly house. The smell was really strong in our closet which was strange. BUT, we were thinking that maybe when we take off the garbage in the morning that it would help the stink.

The next day our house was still quite odorous. So we took off the garbage and went to Wal-Mart. I had to get some more condensed milk to make my pumpkin pies to take to Daddy’s later. I got some Christmas wrapping supplies for half off too. Anyway, we get home and there is an alien cord coming out of the electrical outlet on the deck leading down to the basement. It was the landlord and his mommy (who thinks she’s the landlord) and some little boy out there with a metal detector. AND it still smells in the house so I spray some more Lysol. Bluh! We clean up some and I got out the stuff to make my pies. (I think I make a darn good pumpkin pie). There is no water. Our water is off.

I had Shannon go outside and ask Dusty (the landlord) what was going on with our water. Turns out that since the ground had been so perpetually saturated lately that the septic tank backed up and flooded the basements! EWW! They were down there with the metal detector trying to find the septic tank. Notice how 'tank' is singular meaning that there is only one septic tank for the duplexes and the basements. No WONDER it’s backed up. At least there wasn’t anyone living in the basements. How I am I going to cook my pumpkin pies without water to clean up the dishes?

I call my mom and ask her if I can come to her house and make my pies and tell her what’s going on. So I finish getting the stuff I need to make my pies ready to go to mom’s. I put the last pile of gifts under the tree in the trunk of the car. I get my red sweater and Asia’s outfit so we can get ready at mom’s. The septic tank pumper-outer truck had come and gone before we left.

My pie crusts had gotten a little soggy by the time we got to mom's so I had to put them back in the freezer while I whipped together the filling. The eggs managed to arrive unbroken also. Phew! While the pies were baking I tossed my sweater and Asia’s outfit in the dryer because they got wrinkled on the way down there. I had to duct tape the pies to the bottom of the carriers when they were done because I didn’t want them sliding around. I changed Asia into her outfit and put on my red sweater (we had to match for family pics). We made it to Daddy’s right at 5:30 which is what time I wanted to be there. We had BBQ supper which was alright with me! YUM! Family pics went fast! We left about 9:15 and nobody but Daddy and Asia ate my pie. If they only knew… LOL

Amy and Russ came over and Russ and Shannon played guitar until after 11. They already had the carpet from the basements ripped out. I don’t even remember what I did. I just remember that Asia didn’t go to bed til midnight and I was tired. I got up at 7:30 the next morning and went shopping in Flo-town with Amy because we both had gift cards that we wanted to spend. I got Asia 5 shirts and a pair of pants at ON for $21. And I got myself at LB a pair of jeans, two shirts, and two night gowns for less than $75 (which would have been $187 full price). I got me a bunch of nuggets at Chik-fil-A. ( I love Chik-fil-A and Zaxby’s… cheap and tasty). Then it was off to the house after I dropped Amy off to start cleaning… and you don’t even want me to start with that.

Dusty has still been down there working on the basements. Christmas is long gone but the aftermath lingers. I still have some organizing to do, but my house is clean and, best of all, ODOR FREE!!! It was a great Christmas over all this year! I like to try to carry a bit of the Christmas spirit with me all year long, it's a good thing too, that is all that is left.