The
last time I had this feeling was last August. I had awakened in Montpellier,
France at 4:00 a.m. to catch an early morning flight to Paris. The homesickness
I had felt in the past weeks had disappeared mostly and had been replaced by
pure anticipation and excitement. I was finally, FINALLY going to get to see
Paris, somewhere I had wanted to go my whole life (and got close a couple
times), but for one reason or another never made it there. The feeling was so
intense it seemed to vibrate in my bones. But that feeling was absolutely
nothing like the feeling I had when we finally made it there. That feeling that
I had inside me when we made it to the middle of the road (La Grande Armée) and
straight before us was the Arc de Triomphe was indescribable. I had waited for
that moment my whole life and it was happening, finally.
I
can’t sufficiently describe that feeling, but I can liken it to the feeling I had
today as I graduated. I didn’t really expect to feel that good. I am 28 years
old, have attended college intermittently since high school, changing my major
nearly every semester. I went for Music, Mass Communications, History, Earth
Science, Accounting (what I got my A.S. in) to name a few. Then, I decided my
passion was literature, so I went to school for English. While studying
that, I also ignited a passion for language which is where I finally found my
niche.
Before
today, I felt mostly ashamed of myself. I was happy to be finished with school and all,
but there was a huge part of me that felt inadequate. I had watched people my
age get their Master’s and then PhDs while I was still but a mere undergrad. I
didn’t even want to walk in the graduation ceremony, but there was no way my
family was going to let me get away with that. But I am glad they talked me
into it, because like I said, it felt unexpectedly good. But here’s why. Over
the ten years it has been since I graduated high school, I have faced many
obstacles. There were points when I could have simply given up on education. It
certainly would have been easier. But I didn’t give up, even when people didn’t
think it was worth my time to go. Even when people said hurtful things to me that
could discourage even the strongest people. It felt good because I had finished
something people thought I was too dumb to do, or something I would give up on.
The thing is, I didn't give up, no matter what. I may be a little (okay, a lot) behind for someone my age, but I am
finally getting somewhere. And I’m not finished yet. I plan to get my Master’s
and then, perhaps, my PhD. I don’t know where I’ll end up career-wise. I may
end up staying nearby, but I long for foreign soil. I have big, big plans and goals. When I want something, I do whatever I possibly can to get it. And I never, EVER give up. And for
those of you who don’t think I can achieve something that I have every intention of achieving, well, you’ve been wrong before...
