Orange is Ugly, Unless It's the Sunset

The inevitability of change is the only thing that does not change. You can cause change to happen, but you can't keep it from happening. If you know me well then you know that I am a sentimental, reminiscent, nostalgic person to the point that it is kind of ridiculous. I can't help it though. It's not like I one day decided to be like that; it just happened that way. I think it helps me get through life sometimes, to be retrospective and see all the lessons learned from mistakes. Some days, it causes me anxiety and depression. The 'what-ifs' tattooed themselves to my brain. I can sit and contemplate how much change has taken place around and within myself for hours.

People tell me to forget about the past, that it doesn't define me. I have to disagree. The things that you have done or that have been done to you made you into who you are today. If you forget your past, then you forget the lessons from the mistakes you made. Lord knows I've made plenty of those in my lifetime. Now, you should not dwell on your past; there is nothing you can do to change what has been done. Just find the things you want to be different in your life in the future and start implementing those changes now. It is easier said than done, I know. But you have to start somewhere if you are ever going to get anywhere. (I start somewhere everyday, even if I only start over...again)

I look at pictures and think, "if I only knew then what I know now." I see the friends and family that taught me so many of these lessons. Even the people, especially the people who have done me wrong. I want to thank all the people who taught me that good friends are there for you at your lowest, the people who taught me that it is okay to be goofy, the ones who taught me that it's okay to cry, the people that made me believe in so many good things, those of you who just let me be me. And to those of you who kicked me when I was down, who broke my heart in some way, who made me feel worthless and unworthy; and those who, when my chips were down, took the rest; I want to thank you too. I would like to give a special thanks to all of you who taught me that money doesn't by class, it buys status. You all, and you know who you are, are pieces in my life puzzle. I still don't have them all put together yet; heck, I don't even have them all. Some pieces are magnificent and others quite hideous. Though, I hope one day after my puzzle is finished you can see the beauty in the entire picture. And I hope you will be proud to be part of it.

Remember: Yesterdays make your Todays, but Todays make your Tomorrows!