Ugly.

I hear quite often men introducing their “beautiful wife.” That is alright.  Then, many of them elaborate a little more, “How did I get so lucky as to find a wife that good-looking?” or “She keeps herself pretty for me.” Maybe I am being overly analytical, but these things hurt me to hear. What if he met my husband and me? Would he think poor guy? It feels as if being beautiful is the only thing women have to offer to the world. I am not beautiful, not even close, so is my husband unlucky? Would this person pity my husband for being married to such an ugly woman? Even if I were good-looking, I wouldn’t want to be put on a shelf, as if I were a prize awarded to a man. Since I am so hard on the eyes, does this mean I am worthless? If any of these men HAD to be married to me how would they introduce me, …and this is my…um…wife, or would they even introduce me at all, maybe hide me in a closet or make me duck down as not to be seen with me in front of people who would pity them?  I am likely never to be introduced as “Shannon’s Beautiful Wife,” but maybe people can dig deeper and say, “This is Lauren, she is, smart, sometimes goofy, but always kind.” I have many good qualities, and for too long have I let them go so unnoticed, but those cannot be put up on a shelf like a trophy, those are not things that your husband’s friends can ogle. I guess that is why I do my best in school, to try to offer something to the world, even though to the shallow I will still just be seen as ugly and never anything more.