Lessons

Asia puts a DVD in when she goes to bed every night. The other night after I thought she was settled she starts yelling to me for help. So I go in her room and she is messing with the VCR. She has put a DVD in the VCR and can't get it out. It is wedged in there pretty good. I told her I need to go get something to pry it out. She holds up her index finger and says, "Hold on a minute Mama!" She gets her flashlight and starts digging around under her bed. She pulls out a fork. Not a plastic toy fork, but one of my good pieces of flatware. "I bet this'll work," she said. So I took the fork and loosened up the DVD and it fell right out to which Asia replied, "See Toldja."

I believe that the LB in Lane Bryant REALLY stands for "Large Bodies."

One night I was cooking supper, a quick, easy supper. My culinary skills are limited to dinners that say "Just Add Water" on the box. Therefore you would think that I would at LEAST have no trouble with a packet of Uncle Ben's 90 second rice. I mean, how difficult can it be to put it in the microwave and take it back out when it's done? But if there is a way to mess something up I will be the one to find it. After being in the microwave for a few 10s of seconds I hear a loud POP. There is rice all over the microwave. Next time I will listen to Uncle Ben when he tells me to VENT the packet first.

After getting groceries one evening at Wal-Mart and loaded them into the trunk I was feeling too lazy to put the buggy in the designated return area. There was one of those one-sided ones right in front of the car. I thought to myself, "It would be sooo much easier to pick the cart up and sit it over in there than it would be to push it all the way around." So, I pick up the cart, which was heavier than I expected and proceed to heave it over into the thing. It didn't land on its feet like it was supposed to. I tried to straighten it up but it was about to pull me over in with it so I just left it standing on its nose. So If you witnessed this recently at Walmart, YES, I was that idiot.

Good Day!